Can I say that I wouldn't change some of the things that I did or undo some of the wrongs that were done to me? For sure if a time machine showed up right now it would be a hard choice. Though I can honestly say I would not undo any of it. Everything good or bad that happened made me who I am at this very second and the things that happen in the next hour will mold me into who I am then.
On a side note...if I went back who knows what would be different. People I love could end up dead or my family may not be who they are. Granted if you know me you know that my family is no where near perfect. and that I bitch about how much they irritate the heck out of me on a daily basis, but something has to be said for how much they are a truly vital part of my life. For the good and the bad they are who they are and some days I may wish to change them but then they would be the people I love the most.
Back on track...For everything that you did to become who you are embrace it. The good, bad, scary, ugly and down right nasty. Take it in acknowledge it as a part of who you were and understand that with out that you wouldn't be who you are today. It is when you try to hide the bad things that people like to side swipe you with them. If you acknowledge the instance and are aware of it when it is brought up even if it is uncomfortable and maybe a little embarrassing all you need to do is...look at that person who has inadvertently or on purpose brought up a sore subject and say, "Yeah I totally did that - shrug your shoulders even if the subject stings a little - but I don't do it anymore and I am a stronger person for having made the mistake." Bet that will get them to shut their mouths in a hurry - realizing that you are aware of it and don't really give a fuck can make all the difference in the world to someone out to hurt or embarrass you. If all else fails shrug your shoulders and keep silent.
I honestly don't believe that staying silent works but if you are to caught up in your own head - with thought like I can't believe this SOB brought this up - and can't say much else; it is better to keep quiet than to get pissy and make a scene. That is what they want if they set out to embarrass you.
If you have mistakes in your past like...sleeping with tons of people, or a particular person that you wish you could undo, saying something you wish you could take back, or any of the other of the thousands on thousands of other things that people wish they could undo. Take it in - give it a nice big hug - and don't do it again. Where it like a badge of honor. Don't stuff it in the closet to be discovered by someone out to hurt or embarrass you.
No one deserves to be side swiped with their past mistakes but it happens. Everyone even the SOB that will side swipe you with your mistakes has them. To Err is human to forgive divine. That saying applies to ourselves as well. Love your self for all the good, bad and ugly that you have. You are spectacular because of and in spite of all those moments.
Here is to giving every mistake I made a nice be hello and a hug. I am putting them on my shelf and dusting them every once in a while. Hope you do the same.
If you love who you are understand that you are who you are because of your past. If you hate who you are then make a conscious effort to change and move forward to a place where you can love who you are and embrace your past. If none of these is you read another blog.
Remember the only people without a past are people with amnesia. I'll keep my past thank you very much.
The universe is in my thoughts there by so are you...
illusyon
No comments:
Post a Comment