Hmmmmm....So a few years back I had major anxiety and depression. Can I say that as of right now I am all better...I mean it has been almost 6 years since being diagnosed...but sadly the answer is a big fat NO!
Some people think that it is not an actual occurence can I tell you now that it sure is. For people who have never had anxiety so severe that you think you may be having a heart attack, or can't seem to stop crying and dont know why, you may think it is all in the persons head and all it takes is a little bit of breathing. Let me tell you it isn't always so simple.
Cause sometimes I don't even know what has me in an anxiety frenzy. As a perfect example my cousin had never had a anxiety type panic attack before so when she started having an elevated heart rate, trouble breathing, and chest pain she really thought she was having a heart attack. She ended up going to the ER because she had never experienced something like that before.
I personally don't really know what all of my triggers are but I do know that sometimes I can pin point what is causing it and I think through the situation and reinforce that what is causing me to panic and have anxiety is something that I can overcome. However if I have no idea where it is coming from all I can do is let it simmer or go to my psychologist for some couch time where I have to really reason out where it is stemming from and how to cut off the flow of anxiety that is happening.
It is the can't seem toformulate a thought outside of my mind yet my mind is jumping to and fro, and to and fro. Running in circles that I can't even comprehend. Heart pounding feeling like it is about to claw its way right out of my chest. Throat flexing and closing off. Air is feeling really thin like there ain't enough around for me to get to. Tears coming to my eyes for no apparent reason other than I am having a panic attack and can't control it.
I seek out a quiet place to put my head down, let the tears fall, and breath as loud and a long as I need. Sometimes a sharp object to bleed the panic out to let it flow from my arm, sholuder, thigh, ankles, or any other 3easy access surface. Until I can think again, breathe again, and live again.
Anxiety isn't a joke for those that have it. Anxiety isn't always easy for those who have it to explain and those that don't to really understand what it is and how much it really does affect people.
I keep on struggling a day at a time, sometime a minute at a time until I can breathe again...
illusyon
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